A northern state in the summer time
my uncle’s lake on the fourth of July
Outside the cabin my sister tried
To call like the loon with her hands cupped tight
Up against her mouth as the fireflies
Became visible in the failing summer light
A sparkler in my hand I went after them
As they went out in the night
I wandered down into a quiet place
Where the grass grew tall where it met the lake
There was a different bug must have bit my leg
Though I never saw it

Back at home I cried in my room
My closest friend the one that I confided to:
I wanted her but she wanted you
I was sick in bed I could barely move
And then as my body turned against itself
I prayed for death that I’d come back to be anyone else
As sickness formed within my cells
You never loved me like the way you loved anyone else
You dig a hole dig it deep enough
The truth buries itself and buries itself

And I
I disowned my
Own family
All for love
All for love
And I was ashamed
Of my sister because
She belonged to me
When I wasn’t good enough

I’m sorry
You were the only thing
I should have ever loved