Greetings y'all
And welcome all you danged foreigners from other nations
Dear Lord be with our guests
And prepare them for the butt whopping they are about to receive.

The Olympics in Georgia
God you know we're gonna screw that up
I guarantee you when they let those doves go
At the opening ceremony
There are gonna be guys in the parking lot with shotguns

And we will not have a flame that big
Without a pig on it, I guarantee it
Some fat guy going danged good barbecue
Top of them stairs up there
They ain't got no hand rail be careful

Of all the games that the rednecks play
There's some crazy events
Well if you know about the redneck ways
Then it makes perfect sense

Hell the Olympic rings will be five old tires nailed together
See that's my fear they're gonna get the list of events
They gonna have no idea what half this stuff is suppose to be
Like for fencing
They'll be giving people bailing wire and sheet metal

There probably have to cancel water polo
After the first two or three horses drown
I tell you instead of discus throwing
They'll be flinging Ford hubcaps

You can't blame them for the way they are
But you can sit back and grin
'Cause they'll do something that is so bizarre
You'll want to see it again

If you could ever get inside their minds
There's no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

And you know they haven't even thought about it
But the river they're having the kayak races on
Is the same river they filmed Deliverance at
That ought to add a whole degree of difficulty shouldn't it
'Cause if Ned Batty couldn't make it down
That thing a French man in a pair of bicycle pants ain't got a chance

Be prepared to watch the wildest show
Making her out in the line
You may not see them bringing home the gold
But they'll sure make mama proud

If you could ever get inside their minds
There's no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

Hey, hey Ed, I got a white one