i didn't know that afternoon the ground
was waiting to become another grave in just a few short days.
too bad i couldnt grab the bullet out of the air and put it back into the rifle barrel.
and it would spiral itself back down the barrel
and into the chamber and
refasten itself into the shell
and it'd be as if it had never been fired or even loaded into the gun.

i wish the bullet was back in its box
with the other forty-nine brother and sister bullets
and the box was safely on the shelf in the gun shop
and i had just walked by the shop on that rainy february afternoon
and had never gone inside.

i wish i had been hungry for a hamburger instead of bullets.

there was a restaurant right next to the gun shop.
they had very good hamburgers, but i wasn't hungry.
for the rest of my life i will think about that hamburger.
i was sitting there at the counter holding it with tears draining down my cheeks.

the waitress will be looking away
because she doesn't like to see kids crying while they're eating hamburgers.
and also, she doesn't want to embarrass me.

i am the only customer in the restaurant.