'Cause he gets up in the morning and he goes to work at nine
And he comes back home at five-thirty, gets the same train every time
'Cause his world is built 'round punctuality, it never fails

And he's oh, so good, and he's oh, so fine
And he's oh, so healthy in his body and his mind
He's a well respected man about town
Doing the best things so conservatively

And his mother goes to meetings while his father pulls the maid
And she stirs the tea with councilors while discussing foreign trade
And she passes looks, as well as bills at every suave young man

And he's oh, so good, and he's oh, so fine
And he's oh, so healthy in his body and his mind
He's a well respected man about town
Doing the best things so conservatively

And he likes his own backyard and he likes his fags the best
'Cause he's better than the rest and his own sweat smells the best
And he hopes to grab his father's loot, when pater passes on

'Cause he's oh, so good, and he's oh, so fine
And he's oh, so healthy in his body and his mind
He's a well respected man about town
Doing the best things so conservatively

And he plays at stocks and shares, and he goes to the Regatta
He adores the girl next door 'cause he's dying to get at her
But his mother knows the best about the matrimonial stakes

'Cause he's oh, so good, and he's oh, so fine
And he's oh, so healthy in his body and his mind
He's a well respected man about town
Doing the best things so conservatively