Well, I was sittin' in this bar joint down in Houston, Texas
Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
An' we was, what's that you say? What's Colorado Kool-Aid?
Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream

It'll set your head on fire an' make your kidneys scream, oh, it sure is fine
Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times
But you know, every beer joint that you've ever been in, some big
Mean drunk, who ain't got no friend, sure enough he wants to fight
Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight

Well, he took him a big swallow of beer
And he spit it in my Mexican friend's ear
And sure enough, that made my buddy real mad
That's somethin' like he never had

Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switchblade knife
Quick as a whistle he began to slice
An', that big, mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
Lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears

Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn
But he was gentleman about it, an' bent over and with a half way grin
Picked it up and handed it back to him

He said, "Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer
Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear
Won't be no trouble that way", that's what I heard him say

And I said, "Barmaid, sat us a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid
An' while you're up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of Band-Aids"
Now, let me tell you, if you're ever ridin' down south of Texas
Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Kool-Aid

An' maybe talk to some Mexicans
An' you get the urge to get a little tough better make damn
Sure you got your knife proof ear-muff
‽Hey, ain't that right, big man? I said ain't that right big man?”

Ah, hell, he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear
‽Hey, Barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
How about it? How you doin' big man? Still got your ear in your hand?”