(You're) Timeless To Me Wilbur:
styles keepa changin
the worlds rearrangin
but edna your timeless to me
hemlines are shorter
a beer costs a quarter
but time cannot take what comes free
your like a stinky old cheese babe
just gettin riper with age
your like a fatal disease babe
but theres no cure
so let this fever rage
some folks cant stand it
say time is like a bandit
but i take the opposite view
cause when i need a lift
time brings a gift
another day with you
a twist or a waltz
its all the same schmaltz
with just a change in the scenery
you'll never be old hat
thats that!
you're timeless to me

Edna:
Oh Wilbur i love you!
fads keep a fadin'
castros invading
but wilber you're timeless to me
hairdos are higher
mine feels like barbed wire
but you say im chic as can be!
you're like a rare vintage ripple
a vintage they'll never forget
so pour me a teeny weenie triple
and we can toast the fact
we aint dead yet!
i cant stop eating
you're hairline's receding
and soon you'll have nothing at all
so you'll wear a wig
while i roast a pig
hey! pass the geritol!
glenn miller had brass
that chubby checker's a gas
but they all pass eventually
you'll never be passe
hip horray!
you're timeless to me!

(Musical Interlude)

Wiblur:
you're like a broken down Chevy

Edna:
all i need is a fresh coat of paint

Wilbur:
and edna,
you got me goin hot and heavy
you're fat and old
but baby
boring you ain't!

Both:
some folks dont get it
but we never fret it
cause we know that time
is our friend
yeah, its plain to see
that you're stuck with me
until the bitter end
and we got a kid
who's blowin the lid
off the turnblad family tree

Edna:
you'll always hit the spot
BIG SHOT!
you're timeless to me

Wilbur:
you'll always be du jour
mon amour
you're timeless to me

Edna:
you'll always be first string

Wilbur:
Ring-a-ding-ding!

Both:
you're timeless to me

Edna:
you're timeless to me

Wilbur:
you're timeless to me

Both:
you're timeless to me.

[Thanks to Nathaniel, Lynsey for corrections]