Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your Prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip-shits

Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will because
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit . . .

One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied

Learn to swim

Mom's going to fix it all soon
Mom's coming around to put it back the way it ought to be

Learn to swim

Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes

Learn to swim

Fuck retro anything
Fuck your tattoos
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory

Learn to swim

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional
Insecure actresses

Learn to swim

Because I'm praying for mayhem
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I want to see the ground give way
I want to watch it all go down
Mom, please flush it all away
I want to see it go right in and down
I want to watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

Time to bring it down again
Don't just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend

I want to see it all come down
Suck it down
Flush it down