On a steamer bound for Baltimore
I said that’s no fun, i've been there before
So I jumped ship in Singapore
With a cook from Mexico

Got a bowl of shark-fin soup,
Ducked into a bar for a couple a scoops
Played some texas-stud with a circus troop
and they cleaned me out of dough

At dawn they all went back to bed,
I went to Borneo instead,
Had a hair-of-the dog for my shrunken head,
With the sultan of Brunei

Had a small bit of a seizure
On the way to Micronesia
Got a bad case of amnesia
And forgot to say goodbye

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
No harm no foul no crime
Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
It’ll get ‘em every time.

Stopped in Tajikistan on the way to Iran,
Took a break in Jamaica to work on my tan,
Swam from Cayo Fragoso to Carriacou

I climbed Machu Pichu in Darkest Peru
Had a pint with the pope and played pool with the queen
Who swam circles round a synchronized swimming team

I once had a job riding bulls in Montana
I taught Jimi Hendrix the star-spangled banner,
I’ve been to Morocco, Malawi, Macau
I know how to fly, but I won’t tell you how

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
No harm no foul no crime
Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
It’ll get ‘em every time.

Bought an ice cold coca-cola
From a Congolese High-Rollah
Got deported from Angola
To a castle on the Rhine.

Ask anyone that knew me,
The Emir of Bahrain sued me,
I was in a Blockbuster Movie
And I didn’t make a dime

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
No harm no foul no crime
Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
It’ll get ‘em every time