Liar, liar with your drawers on fire
White spades hangin' on the telephone wire
Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line
You'll never recognize yourself on heartattack and vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief
Philly Joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,
If you want a taste of madness, you'll have to wait in line
You'll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine

Boney's high on China White, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, that's just Screamin' Jay when he's drunk
Well this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

See that little Jersey girl in the see-through top
With the peddle pushers sucking on a soda pop
Well I bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-five to nine
You can see a million of 'em down on heartattack and vine

Better off in Iowa against your scrambled eggs
Than crawling down the boulevard on a pair of broken legs
You'll find that ignorance is bliss every goddamn time
You're waitin' for the RTD on heartattack and vine

Boney's high on China White, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, that's just Screamin' Jay when he's drunk
Well this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

Liar liar with your pants on fire
White spades hangin' on a telephone wire
Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line
You'll never recognize yourself on heartattack and vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief
Philly Joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,
If you want a taste of madness, you'll have to wait in line
You'll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine

See that little Jersey girl in the see-through top
With the peddle pushers sucking on a soda pop
Well I bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-five to nine
You can see a million of 'em down on heartattack and vine

Boney's high on China White, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, that's just Screamin' Jay when he's drunk
Well this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

I see fellows, checkin' out the girls
You're lookin' good